Non-Date Confused Dude

I met this really nice old man with two kids - Matt Lauer type, who worked in Sales and Marketing (that’s what I used to do)- on the set of a photo shoot. He was very interested in my business background, so we exchanged emails, and he promptly emailed me asking me for my resume; He told me he’d let me know “if any opportunities come up”. He seemed nice enough, and he was harmless - I mean, he had two kids. Nothing weird or creepy about him.
I sent him my resume to fw to anyone interested and he replied with a nice email which ended with, what are you doing next week? Do you want to get together for lunch or something?? Let me know

Naturally, I agreed. It was a harmless lunch in Yaletown - I could walk down to the restaurant since it was in the neighbourhood.

Well, what I thought was a harmless lunch, turned out to be something else!!! I figured this out when he started talking about how he’d been a “free man” for the last six months, and “how nice it was to start dating again.”

What?!

Yup, he thought he was on a DATE. Correction, I’m the idiot that didn’t realize she was on a fucking date! Fuck! And that’s not the worst part - turned out, he was STILL married! His wife had just moved out! No divorce! And his kids were 12 and 16! My sister is around 20 - pretty close to his daughter’s age! I was so uncomfortable throughout the rest of lunch - I just wanted to leave! Suddenly, I noticed what a dork this guy was! The receding hairline, the weird bowling shirt, the pleated pants, the aerosoles. And you think I’d date you? Are you fucking kidding me?

I just wanted to get out of there! He asked for the drink menu after lunch, and as I was grudgingly reading through it, he took the liberty of ordering two glasses of red wine EVEN THOUGH I’d told him I hate red wine. Did he forget? Nononono - he turned to me and said, “I don’t know why girls don’t drink red wine. Its great.”

I know where I’d like to stick that glass of red wine, you cunt.

I took out my phone and started texting people, how the fuck was I getting out of this? When could I get up and leave? I’d already told him that I was going shopping after lunch - this was before I realized he was a married father on the prowl for young women. I continued texting, even as the wine came. He sipped his wine, I looked up, and he gestured towards the glasses and said, “I’ll pay for this wine.”

Excuse me?! No fucking shit! You piece of crap cocksucker - just as I was conjuring up new profanities to hurl at this mo-fo, my sister called (I’d texted her to save me). I then told the Baldie that I had to go pick up my sister, so he asked for the bill, which he paid. Perhaps he was trying to seal a second date, I expected him to go dutch, after his little red wine comment. “We’ll have to go for drinks next time,” he smiled as I got up to leave, “Next time you have to pay!”

Right! I pity the fool that dates that creep. Correction, I pity the the fool that dates that still married creep।

Until next time,
YPhilotes