Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sex-Tape Realization

Today, I realized that, in the heat of the moment, Bartender and I had made a sex-tape on his Blackberry. Fuck that shit! I’m gonna have to make sure noone sees it - if they haven’t already….

Until next time,


Monday, March 30, 2009

One Tree Hill Boy - Parte Dos

No, I didn’t get a date. Here’s how it happened:

I was playing an airline counter stewardess on a new tv show. My role consists of me standing at the counter in one of those first-class lounges at the airport. One Tree Hill Boy and another more famous actor are supposed to approach me, and ask me some questions pertaining to the famous actor’s flight - he’s supposed to waiting for his fiancĂ©. I’d been told to improv as One Tree Hill Boy improvs, and walks away, after which I deliver my line (“May I help you with anything, sir?”) to Famous Actor, as his fiancĂ© walks in.

So, Treeboy & myself had been talking, we went through a rehearsal, and kept chit-chatting as we were waiting for the first take. Or, so I thought. So, we’re talking and he goes,
“So what are you doing later?”
“Um, I don’t know,” I gushed.
“I wouldn’t mind taking you out, maybe dinner, drinks, if you’re interested.”
I smiled - my heart kinda skipped a tiny beat. A little bit.
“It’s Dani, right?”
“Yup,” I smiled giddily.
“Kay - I’m sitting over there. Come by and say hello, after your shift.”
Horrified, I looked over at famous actor, who was smiling from ear to ear upon the realization that I was unaware that we are filming the first take and Treeboy was just improv-ing as he’s supposed to be playing a LADIES MAN! Flustered, I forgot my very simple line, as did Famous Actor. I could feel my face heating up in horror! OH, the embarrassment!

After the bungled first take, the director came up to Treeboy and said, “That was great. I like the ‘Dani’ bit.”
“That’s her real name!” exclaimed Treeboy in utter excitement.

Oh, man - after that, I tried to play it cool. After a few takes, Treeboy came up and made chit-chat - just as we were doing before I almost died of embarrassment. “So, are you from Vancouver, Dani?”
“Yup,” I tried to ‘play it cool’.
“I’m from LA.”
“That’s cool.”
"I don’t really know my way around Vancouver.”
Yeah. I’ve only been here two days.”
“That’s cool.”
“I’m just learning my way around Vancouver.”
“That’s cool.”
“Do you live in Vancouver?”
“Yeah. Yaletown.”
“Really? That’s pretty close to me! I’m staying at the Sutton Place!”
“Yeah? That’s cool.”
“Yeah. I’m just trying to learn my way around Vancouver.”

That was the perfect opportunity for me to go, “Really? Why don’t I show you around? I’ve lived in Van my whole life., blah, blah, blah.” Sigh. Know what I said, instead? “That’s cool.”

Enough said.

Until next time,

Sunday, March 1, 2009

One Tree Hill Boy

I’m kicking myself over this incident. Firstly, I didn’t get to date this guy. Secondly, I totally blew any chance I had of dating him.

What is wrong with me? Aaargghhh! Tomorrow, I will try to land a date with this guy, so I may write about it. If not, I’ll have to write about how I bungled up his attempts to date me . . .

Until next time,

Thursday, February 12, 2009

1 Barowner + 1 Bartender = 0

Aarghhh! I hate this story! After a good run, both Barowner and Bartender dropped me like a hot potato, which left me really hating myself for what I had done to Barowner. That was until my friend, W, pointed out that I wasn’t actually feeling remorse - I was feeling resentment over the fact that I’d lost a really good thing (I had going). So true. After that, I felt no more remorse and moved on to many more fabulous dating escapades.

In case you’re wondering how Barowner found out about my little, um, tryst(s) - sigh - Bartender told him.

Here’s how it went down:
I was feeling guilty about my Bartender, one evening, so I agreed to go to some boring event with Barowner - after which, he brought me back to his bar. He asked me why I was so tired, and I replied, “I didn’t go to sleep until eight this morning.”
“Didn’t you go home around two last night?”
Fuck me! I hesitated and made up some crap about how "I was sitting in front of the computer and was wired from the blue light, so I couldn’t sleep." Phew! Close one!

We were drinking with some attractive surgeons (gotta get one of their phone numbers!) who were Barowner’s friends. Barowner got up and then returned to our table, with drinks in hand . . . . pale as a ghost. We continued drinking, all the while, Barowner said nothing. Hmm. I glanced at him, laughing along with the surgeons, but fixated on Barowners blank stare. What could be wrong with him?

“So, I asked Bartender why he’s so tired,” began Barowner. WHAT?! I could feel myself losing all the colour to my face, coupled with an intense sinking feeling in my stomach. “And he told me he was fooling around with Dani all night.”

I stammered, and laughed uncomfortably. I tried, but there was no way of digging myself out of that grave. I even pretended it was all a silly joke.
Humph. Oh well! That was fun while it lasted.

Let this be a lesson: Do not date two men that are FRIENDS HaHa! At least, I can still laugh about it . . .

Until next time,

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Musician Sighting

I went to the lamest party with Barowner today. We were a couple hours late (thanks to me). What? I was at home, hanging out with my friends. oops.

So, I was at the party, talking to some friends that we’d run into – when a short, fat, bald man grabbed my arm and kissed me on both cheeks. Musician! I forgot this was the same party he’d wanted me to come to. We exchanged pleasantries and he left – he was just leaving the party with his friends, when he spotted me. Hmm, he seems nice enough. No harm in being just friends.

A short while later, Musician came running back in, interrupted my conversation, and hastly pulled me aside.

“I have to ask,” he smirked, “what made you come to this party, when you’d already said you weren’t coming?”

Huh? Um, what?
“What made you change your mind?” he smirked lecherously.
Eeew! No! You’ve got to be kidding!

I quickly turned and pointed towards my date, “Because Barowner is friends with the people throwing this party,” I responded in a static tone. “He really wanted to do the whole red carpet thing,” I shrugged as if I was bored. Inside, I was aghast that baldie thought I was here for him. Eeewww! Good thing he doesn’t have my number...

Until next time,


So, this musician dude tried asking me out. He wanted me to go to some lame party ‘cause he was performing at the event. I had no idea who he was – apparently he’s kind of a big deal, but even if he is – that doesn’t impress me. I just don’t find him attractive at all. Short, bald, not in great shape, and to top it off, he’s old – late thirties, maybe even 40. Yuck. (btw, I googled him to hear his music. Still not impressed).

Until next time,

22-yr-old Bartender

Well, a couple weeks ago, I was out with Bar-owner - we were in some red-neck bar at 1:30 in the morning, when cute bartender walked in with his friends। We were talking, and he leaned down and smiled,

“You are such a cutie!"
“Really?” I guess I’m cute, but I was kinda surprised.
“You’re suuper-cute,” he beamed.
“Thank you,” I gushed.

Small talk ensued, and I ran into into other friends (yes, they were boys) that I knew. At 2am, the bar closed, and I ran into bartender outside, “So what are you up to now?” I asked.
“I don’t know. We need to go drinking. Why don’t you get Barowner to open up the lounge? He’ll do anything you say.”
“O-kay!” I chirped.

So, Barowner and I walked down to his bar, opened up, and I started mixing drinks. “Do you have Bartender’s number?” I asked nonchalantly. “I didn’t tell him I was leaving.”
“He’ll be fine,” slurred my bar-owner, as he tried to hug me. Eeeuch!
“No! I want to text him!” I squealed like a spoiled child। So, he gave me his #, & I texted him, You better not leave me alone with this drunk! It was ur idea to come back here!
Bartender soon showed up with his friend who I’d met earlier in the evening - really cool guy - turned out we had the same agent. Barowner stumbled to another side of the bar (out of sight) and Bartender swooped me up from behind.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” I hesitated.
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. And I think you’re amazing.”

We had a good laugh -

‘Kay this story is getting too drawn out - long story short, we left the Barowner’s bar around 3:30am. Barowner walked home ‘cuz he had to get up early. Bartender, his friend, myself, and this girl-friend of theirs went back to bartenders place - which was nice and neat and tidy, and tastefully decorated on a budget.

Again, too much detail - Here’s the important stuff - so me & bartender were back at his, and kinky sex ensued. I mean porno quality kinky - this kid was off the hook! And he was mesmerized by how hot my body was. Why cant the guys I date be more like him?! He complimented every inch of my body - talk about giving a girl high self-esteem! And he was amazing with his hands! We had so much fun! I broke my silver necklace from Tiffanys, but it was worth it.

At 8 am I realized I needed to go home, because I was driving out to the valley with my sister - she had a 9:30 doctors appointment, and we were gonna go see my parents. I kissed him good bye, got dressed and ran out the door. I ran into a very nice smiley gay man with a bike, waiting for the elevator. He kept smiling at me. So sweet! On the elevator, he introduced himself, “Hi! I’m Jordi. I’m your new neighbour!” and he shook my hand.
“Are you off to work?” he smiled.
“Uh-huh,” I nodded sheepishly.

“Where do you work?” he chirped.

“Um,” I hesitated, “I have to be honest,” I smirked, “I’m going home.”
“Oh..” he was taken aback. “I’m not even going to to ask.”
“Nonono! I’m an actor!” I replied.
“Yeah. Well, I could tell,” he laughed uncomfortably. “That makes sense.”
Still giddy from my morning romp, I chuckled along.

Fuck, how the hell do I get myself into these things?! Nevermind, I’m a freaking serial dater - that’s how.

Until next time,